The Joys of Sake
by Sargent Snarky
Summary: If you watch legend of twilight, you know there is a mod for Sake. We see what happens when Tsukasa, being extremely depressed, decides to try this glorious upload. After all, our little wavemaster can feel and smell in the World, why can't he taste?
1. Depression

**The joys of Sake  
**  
Summery : _In .hack legend of the twilight, we see that Balmung has a mod for Sake. In .hacklegend of the Sake, we see what happens when Tsukasa, being extremely depressed, decides to try this glorious upload. After all, our little wavemaster can feel and smell things in the World, so why can't he taste them, too?  
_  
Note: This is what I think is termed a partial AU. I don't know what it stands for, but I think it means that the story doesn't take place within any of the time boundaries or anything like that If someone could tell me what AU stands for, I'd be much obliged. This takes place somewhere during .hack SIGN, but only because Tsukasa needs to be in a coma for this to take place. I was watching Pirates of the Caribbean while I wrote this, so forgive me if anything from the movie trickled in. Anyway, this is rated PG for drunkenness and brief language.  
  
Disclaimer: While I wish I did indeed own all of the .hack conglomeration, I must say that I don't. This plot and idea are mine, though… Mwahaha…

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Chapter One: Depression  
  
Saying that Tsukasa was merely depressed would have gotten you an award for Understatement of the Month. In truth, the wavemaster was VERY depressed. His whole mindset towards anything outside the tortuous boundaries of his lonely thoughts was apathetic at best. His thoughts towards his own mind were gloomy even for a certain stuffed donkey known the world over for often loosing his tail. At least once an hour, Tsukasa would think of suicide, wondering if it would work in such a place where you respawn every time you die. Would he have to keep killing himself, or, if he willed it strong enough, would he actually die?  
  
Currently, Tsukasa was lying upon the grass in a random sunny field full of rolling hills and large happy windmills and a few mills. The wavemaster hated it. How he wished it would rain and storm. Then his uncalled for moodiness might be justified. Now, it seemed ludicrous for one lying upon the soft turf, breathing in the sweet, cool air and feeling the gentle breeze, coupled with pleasant sunlit warmth, to feel depressed. That was just why Tsukasa hated it, though. It was making him feel almost happy, something the poor wavemaster had no inclination to feel, considering the events taking place around him. However, Tsukasa was using the excuse of apathy at this moment to avoid having to get up.  
  
"Tsukasa!"  
  
The wavemaster started, his gray eyes snapping open in surprised. He hadn't realized that, in his personal sphere of misery, he had drifted off to sleep. Tsukasa looked up into the burgundy eyes of Mimiru as she bent over him.  
  
"Are you awake yet?" she demanded. "If so, get up! You promised you'd go with Bear and I on a quest!"  
  
"Go away!" snapped Tsukasa, closing his eyes again.  
  
"No! You spend too much time alone, wandering aimlessly about the place!" replied Mimiru. "You need to get out and do something with your friends. We're worried about you and doing this would really mean a lot."  
  
Those comments only served to make Tsukasa feel like a wretched mean person when he said, "No. Leave me alone."  
  
The depressed tone of his voice made it entirely too obvious to the heavy blade girl who was one of Tsukasa's self proclaimed friends. He called the annoying busybodies, but admitted only to himself that he would miss them if they were gone. Well, he would miss most of them, anyway. Tsukasa would never feel a moment's sadness if Sora vanished. Mimiru sighed in exasperation as even a kick failed to do anything to rouse Tsukasa, save to illicit a low moan and to cause the wavemaster to roll away, curling himself into a ball.  
  
"Arg!" cried the heavy blade. "If you don't get up now, then I think I'll follow Sora's footsteps and PK you!"  
  
Tsukasa murmured, "Do what you want. I don't care so long as you leave me alone."  
  
"Fine then! Just lay there and rot for all I care!" screamed Mimiru. Giving Tsukasa one final kick, she gated out.  
  
Sighing, Tsukasa rubbed his ribs where he received the kick and sat up, gazing at the space Mimiru had occupied. Then, the wavemaster slowly got to his feet, feeling his joints creak in protest at the sudden movement. He'd only been lying there for twelve hours. With another sigh, or possibly it was a moan, Tsukasa pointed into the sky and disappeared amid three golden rings.

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Author stuff:

I was in the mood for making a humor/angst story... While this chapter is pretty much all angst, the humor begins in the next chapter or two...

Please R&R


	2. Introduction to Sake

**The Joys of Sake**  
  
_Disclaimer: While I wish I did indeed own all of the .hack conglomeration, I must say that I don't. This plot and idea are mine, though… Mwahaha…_  
  
Chapter 2: An introduction to Sake  
  
A wavemaster appeared in Mac Anu, by the spinning chaos gate. He gazed absently at the golden hoop and its blue portal for a moment, before turning and stumbling down the stone streets. At first the wavemaster didn't bother to look where he was going. After a while, however, Tsukasa realized that he had strayed into a darker area where the buildings were crammed closer together. Not only was the brickwork in ill repair, but there were several broken windows and the door to one rather shady looking place that was, by its sign, supposed to be a tavern, was hanging open by a single rusty hinge.  
  
Tsukasa halted outside of it, attracted by a vague curiosity. In real life, before she had become trapped in the World, he had nearly wandered into a bar, only to be stopped by a guy at the door. He had said that he was only a child and therefore not allowed. The wavemaster considered things as they stood now, for a moment. No one could really tell someone's age in this game, so no one would stop Tsukasa and ask to see an I.D., right? A grim smile crept across his face. He had never tried alcohol, had never been allowed. There was a first time for everything, though. It never occurred to the wavemaster that, though he could smell and feel within the World, he might not be able to taste, but why should such a thought occur to him? The World was his world.  
  
Tsukasa shifted his grip upon his staff then stepped towards the single hinged door. A slight breeze picked up, swirling down the narrow alley. It caught the door and made the hinge creak. The sound made the wavemaster wince. However, undaunted, Tsukasa stepped into the tavern and was greeted by a large square room filled with a smoky haze that made him gag. He coughed once, twice and three times before recovering. Squinting into the gloom, the wavemaster saw several other players staring back at him. Each had a cup, mug or a glass of some sort in front of them and they stared grimly at Tsukasa as he slowly walked passed the many round tables to the bar proper.  
  
"What'll ye be havin'?" questioned the barman, a stout NPC designed specifically to look on the shady end of things.  
  
"Uh…" said Tsukasa, his gaze passing swiftly over the rows of bottles.  
  
"This your first time here?" called a tall cloaked blademaster seated at the far end of the bar.  
  
Tsukasa nodded and the man continued, "I'd recommend the Sake, then. While in real life, if you drink too much, you get pretty drunk, in the game it just affects your character's stats for a bit and the Sake isn't that bad as far as status decrease goes. Also, it's cheap."  
  
"Thank you," replied Tsukasa, turning back to the barkeeper.  
  
"Hey!" said the other man suddenly. "I recognize you! You're the wavemaster that the Crimson Knights are after, aren't you?"  
  
Tsukasa paled slightly. "Uh…" he began.  
  
"Ah, don't worry. The damn Crimson Knights are a bunch of assholes anyway. Why're they after you anyway? Wait, don't tell me now," he said. "I'll buy you your drink and you can tell me while you drink it."  
  
"Thank you!" exclaimed Tsukasa, surprised in spite of himself.  
  
The wavemaster walked over and sat down upon the bar stool next to the man, leaning his staff against the counter next to him. The blademaster ordered a bottle of Sake and an almond dachery. It was his favorite drink, he explained, and if he couldn't have them too much in the real world, then he'd be damned if he didn't have one here.  
  
"My name's Dennis, by the way," he said once the barman had given them their drinks. "Who're you?"  
  
"Tsukasa," replied the wavemaster as he hesitantly lifted the small cup to his lips.  
  
Tsukasa took a small sip and mulled over the flavor. It wasn't what he'd call good, but it wasn't bad either. He swallowed it and felt a pleasant warmth course down his throat. With a half smile, he took another, longer swallow. It was the same taste, but stronger and the warmth going down his throat was hotter, burning, almost.  
  
"You roleplay the expressions so well!" exclaimed Dennis. "If I didn't know this was a game, I'd swear you really were drinking Sake for the first time."  
  
"I don't feel any different," said Tsukasa after a moment.  
  
Dennis found the comment slightly odd, but decided that it could be atributed to one who really enjoyed playing the part. "Of course not. It takes more than a swallow of Sake. If it were scotch or rum, you might be having slight status effects, but not with wine. Oh damn it! I forgot the time! I have a doctor's appointment in an hour. Oh well. Farewell Tsukasa. Happy drinking!"  
  
Abruptly, even as the wavemaster waved, Dennis vanished with the three golden rings. Their glow lightened the area around where he had stood, but only for a brief second. Tsukasa sighed and turned back to his drink, leaning upon one elbow. He took another sip. It was always like that. Just when he thought he might have possibly found someone he would willingly call a friend or at least a companion, they disappeared or Tsukasa found out that they were yet another of those annoying busybodies. Thinking of such people brought the wavemaster's thoughts in a loop, with many little spirals along the way, back to him hating life. He could always drink it away…

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Author stuff: mwahahahaha.... That's all I have to say as of now...


	3. G'day Friendsh!

Chapter 3: G'day friendsh  
  
It was an hour later when Tsukasa had finished the bottle of Sake. Now that he was used to the taste, he decided that he loved it and couldn't get enough. The burning had settled to a dull, comforting warmth. He was happy, truly happy for the first time in months for the light haze that had settled over him drove away the darkness, the dreams, the memories as a wind drives away dandelion seeds. Tsukasa actually laughed, though his random chuckle brought a few odd looks from others in the bar. However, they only thought that either this one was drinking in the real world at the same time, or was just having fun roleplaying it up, as it were.  
  
"Hey barman!" called the wavemaster after he'd drained the last drop. "Can you get anotha bottle? Thish one's a'empty." Suddenly, Tsukasa hiccuped. Then he hiccuped again. Somehow, the wavemaster found this irrepressibly funny and began to laugh. It was several minutes before his joyful gales faded. The barman brought another bottle over and Tsukasa brought out the required GP.  
  
"An' anotha one for th'road," he slurred.  
  
The barman did just that, even going so far as to put it in a bag for Tsukasa. With a deranged grin, the wavemaster took the one for the road and set it right next to his staff. Then, he took the bottle of Sake he had ordered right before that and opened it. Sighing, Tsukasa took a swig strait from the decanter. This bottle he finished in a much more timely manner. Then, he set it on the counter next to the first, picked up his staff in one hand and other bottle in the other, and sauntered out of the tavern, the eyes of other players following his unsteady gate with amused interest.  
  
"G'bye!" he called over his shoulder to those within the gloomy room. "I'm off t'meet my friensh…"  
  
In any world, Tsukasa could not have passed the strait line test in this state. Therefore, he wove and stumbled his way through the side streets, back to the main area of Mac Anu. People stared at him and his odd saunter. One person laughed and murmured to his friends that Johnny Depp had returned from the dead and gotten an account in the World. Sadly, the actor had died a year or so previous in an automobile accident.  
  
Despite the rather unsteady and awkward gate of Tsukasa, he did eventually make it back to the Chaos Gate. It was then, leaning against the wall of a building, that he opened his third bottle of Sake and took a swig.  
  
"Glorious stuff!" he called with a thick laugh. "Absolutely wonderful!"  
  
Seeing that none of his friends were there, Tsukasa sent a flashmail to Mimiru saying, "So sorry about before. Meet me at the chaos gate of Mac Anu."  
  
Then, it occurred to the wavemaster that he wanted to see all his friends. Therefore, he sent a flashmail to Bear, BT, Subaru and even Sora. He received a reply from Mimiru and Bear saying that they would be there soon, a message saying that BT was not logged in, nor was Subaru and another message from Sora saying that he would be there in five minutes.  
  
Tsukasa laughed. The wavemaster never noticed that his cheeks were quite pink and his nose was a tad on the red side. He took another drink of his Sake and paused, listening. He heard the background music and laughed again. Then, the wavemaster began to dance, jumping about the chaos gate, almost to the beat of the music.  
  
He was just completing a pirouette when Mimiru and Bear warped in. Their jaws dropped and their eyes went quite wide. The two just gaped for several long moments until Sora warped in. Then it was three who stood gaping.  
  
"G'day friendsh," giggled Tsukasa waving his staff over his headin greeting. "Ishn't it a wonderful day?"  
  
He paused in his erratic exuberance to take another drink of Sake. Then, the wavemaster danced around some more. Several players with no connection to him or his friends at all had gathered in a small crowd to watch. Suddenly, Sora burst out laughing himself.  
  
"I wouldn't believe it if I wasn't watching it, but I do believe Tsukasa's drunk!"  
  
…….  
Author stuff!  
  
So, how do you like my angst / humor story? I had fun with this one!  
  
Soon I'll do the next chapter of Tsukasa's intoxication... Then, I might do another chapter when Tsukasa gets a hangover, but that's for another late night spent watching movies. Maybe the hangover part will be written under the influence of music instead of a movie… Nirvana, perhaps? Wait… They're druggies… Oh well, you can still get hangovers from doing drugs…  
  
IMPORTANT NOTE: NO, I do not drink nor do I do drugs… I get drunk off of life in general… J 


	4. What to do?

(same disclaimer... Need I type it out again?)

Chapter 4: What to do  
  
The corner of Mimiru's lip twitched as did Bear's, watching Tsukasa prance about. The wavemaster was singing Loch Lomond in an unknown key. Completely oblivious to the laughter and snickering directed his way and utterly happy was he for the first time in his entire life.  
  
"I hate to say it," said Mimiru. "But I think you're right, Sora. Tsukasa is most definitely drunk."  
  
"Oh, you'll –hic– take the high road an' I'll a' –hic– take the low road," sang the wavemaster, swinging his staff about. "An' I'll –hic– be in Scotlan' a'fore ye! Fer me an' me true love'll never meet a –hic– gain on the bonny, bonny banks o' Loch Loooooo –hic– mond!"  
  
"Definitely soprano, that one," said Sora, receiving a glare from Mimiru.  
"There are a few taverns in the outskirts of one or two of the root towns," commented Bear. "But I've never been to one. Apparently you can order drinks there. They are supposed to effect your stats and maybe cause your character to sway a little, but that's all. You can't get drunk off of them."  
  
"But Tsukasa's trapped in the World, so, since he can feel physical things, why can't he feel the effects of a drink?" muttered Mimiru.  
  
Sora just laughed.  
  
While his friends watched and discussed the predicament in low tones, Tsukasa drained the last of his Sake. Then, he began to sing an oldie (keep in mind that our pop music now would be oldies by the time Sign takes place) entitled "…Baby One More Time" by Bowling for Soup. (NOT the version by Brittany Spears –quietly pukes in a corner-) Tsukasa even went so far as to play air guitar upon his staff.  
  
"We can't just let him stay drunk!" bewailed Mimiru, trying to contain her own mirth as Tsukasa warbled along.  
  
Bear chuckled and said, "Well, eventually he will get sleepy and when he wakes up, he'll have a hell of a hangover, but let the boy be happy for now. If you haven't noticed, he's been really depressed lately."  
  
"That's true," said Mimiru. At that moment, Sora made some comment about Mimiru being in love with Tsukasa and Mimiru spun around, eyes promising death. "Would you like to repeat that?!" she hissed, brandishing her sword.  
  
Sora just opened his eyes wide and tried to look innocent, which was hard considering the playful smirk upon his lips. "All I said was that I agree with MIMIRU and would LOVE to help TSUKASA."  
  
Mimiru groaned and slashed at the twin blade with her sword. Sora nimbly dodged it and said, pouting, "That's not very nice."  
  
The heavy blade raised her sword to hack at Sora again, but stopped, hearing a crash and a clatter. Tsukasa had slipped and fallen upon the stone. He lay there for several moments, staring at the little birds flying around his head and wondering if they were canaries or chickadees. His staff had fallen to the cobbles next to him.  
  
"Ow," was all that the wavemaster said as he sat up, rubbing the back of his head.  
  
Now he saw Mimiru bending over him asking if he was all right. Bear stood behind her and Sora a little to the side, edging towards the staff.  
  
"Oh," said Tsukasa. "Hullo. Who're you? Wait… Don' tell me… I know I've sheen you before."  
  
"Gah!" sighed Mimiru, exasperated. "Tsukasa! You're coming with us!"  
  
"No I'm not," replied Tsukasa getting to his feet, barely. He stood for a moment swaying, then looked at Sora. "Can I haff m'shtaff back?"  
  
The twin blade smirked and said nothing. Quick as a flash, he lifted the stave and brought it down on Tsukasa's head. The wavemaster let out a short moan and collapsed. As he fell, Tsukasa was vaguely aware that Mimiru had drawn her blade again and was chasing Sora, who yelled over his shoulder, "He did say, er.. sing, to hit him!"

Then darkness took the wavmaster and he knew nothing more of what happened for a several hours.

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Mwahahaha! Author stuff! 

The next chapter ish gonna be where Tsukasa has a hangover, but I do believe that is the last chapter I'm going to write for this....

To meh reviewers:

Chelsea: Thanks fer readin' it!

Kitsunia: You? Lazy?! -gasp- Thankies!

Zero : Actually, I've had the idea for a while, I just havn't written it down. Glad I've made someone's dream come true, though.

Sesuna: You do not have permission to call me by my actuall name!! Don't make me claw your eyeballs out! Or I might just go around calling you Kennith all the time.. -smirk- kennith.. -more smirking- Thanks for the compliment, though.


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